Poop and News

Poop is one of my favorite conversation subjects. Especially at dinner, while ingesting food that will become the next topic of conversation several hours later. I feel like poop has been the theme of the past week. Shocking. And that is not necessarily a good thing.

The first poop related incident was a text from my mother. Randomly one afternoon I receive this: "You would've been so impressed at the size of the poop that just came out of a 5 year old at work! Holy crap!" Thanks for thinking of me and immediately texting me after witnessing a bowel shaking event. We're such a close family. That was my first thought. My second thought was what the hell is a 5 year old doing at work? My mom works in a tax office during tax season. Odd...turns out it was a co-worker's kid. Somehow my mom had to be pseudo-mother for the kid while she dispensed of the last 7 days worth of meals. I can't wait to have a job where a 5 year old taking a huge shit is the highlight of my day.

Second poopy event: the dogs shitting all over the house. The Baum's were out of town all weekend and I was barely home, which left Chip and Libby the opportunity to poop EVERYWHERE. Awesome! I am really great at using a steam cleaner now. I have no idea how they poop that much. I am fairly positive the piles were larger than what should be physically possible according to how much they eat. I thought I was a generator of a large amount of poo. I've been beaten by two labs. Dammit.

I am not surprised that it only took me four entries to dedicate one almost entirely to poop. I am so predictable and mature.

Total change of subject. I have some news. I came back to Billings with the intent to gain college coaching experience and train with the team for tryouts. When I arrived in Billings, I had zero tryouts set up. But now I do! Whoop. I am trying out for the Buffalo Flash of Buffalo, New York March 5 - 7 and the Colorado Force of Fort Collins, Colorado March 20 - 21. If neither of those work out, I will pull something else out of my ass.

But Buffalo, NY? What?! Yeah, I know, random as hell. I was cruising around the internet back in December, checking out W-League teams and filling out some prospective player forms. I had actually completely forgotten that I had contacted the Flash. I did it because why the hell not? I've never been to New York or to the East that much. Why not go somewhere totally new? Somewhere I know no one? I need to break out of the comfort zone that is the West. I've spent my whole life out here and feel like the whole region is my home. I need to burst my happy little bubble. And the Flash also seem to have their shit together. I am all about an organized team after what happened last summer. And there is that.

I have another development that I will not be talking about until it is more concrete. More suspense!