I just posted a more official sounding blog post on the MSUB WS Blog. Look: http://msubws.blogspot.com/
I can be serious. When I have to be.
New Home
9 years ago
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Things that make me want to punch someone in the throat
1) That smacking noise people's mouths make when they chew with their mouth open.
2) Constipation
3) Billings' drivers who consistently drive at least 5 mph under the speed limit, brake when a car is pulling out a half a mile away, slow down to go through green lights, and cut you off when there is no one behind you and proceed to go slower than a paraplegic sloth.
4) Billings' drivers who have no idea what a bike is and how to deal with them on the road. I am not a pedestrian, I am a bike and the law says you have to treat me like I am just any other car on the road. So don't wave me on at 4-way stops, pass me when there is no room and slam on the brakes at the stop light we were 20 yards from when you passed me. Asshole.
5) Billings' drivers.
6) That noise jugs make when they are full and you're pouring whatever is in them out and it goes 'glug glug glug' and splashes everywhere. Dammit I really hate that.
7) Holding a conversation with someone who just waits for their turn to talk instead of actually listening. This happens daily.
8) When W-League teams schedule tryouts and then decide to move the dates when you have non-refundable plane tickets to attend tryouts. Get your shit together and take other people's lives and finances into consideration, please.
9) When Facebook chat clogs up your browser and turns what should be a simple conversation into a ridiculously frustrating task. Typing a sentence should not take five minutes and make it impossible to use your browser for anything else.
10) Listening to someone chew.
2) Constipation
3) Billings' drivers who consistently drive at least 5 mph under the speed limit, brake when a car is pulling out a half a mile away, slow down to go through green lights, and cut you off when there is no one behind you and proceed to go slower than a paraplegic sloth.
4) Billings' drivers who have no idea what a bike is and how to deal with them on the road. I am not a pedestrian, I am a bike and the law says you have to treat me like I am just any other car on the road. So don't wave me on at 4-way stops, pass me when there is no room and slam on the brakes at the stop light we were 20 yards from when you passed me. Asshole.
5) Billings' drivers.
6) That noise jugs make when they are full and you're pouring whatever is in them out and it goes 'glug glug glug' and splashes everywhere. Dammit I really hate that.
7) Holding a conversation with someone who just waits for their turn to talk instead of actually listening. This happens daily.
8) When W-League teams schedule tryouts and then decide to move the dates when you have non-refundable plane tickets to attend tryouts. Get your shit together and take other people's lives and finances into consideration, please.
9) When Facebook chat clogs up your browser and turns what should be a simple conversation into a ridiculously frustrating task. Typing a sentence should not take five minutes and make it impossible to use your browser for anything else.
10) Listening to someone chew.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Poop and News
Poop is one of my favorite conversation subjects. Especially at dinner, while ingesting food that will become the next topic of conversation several hours later. I feel like poop has been the theme of the past week. Shocking. And that is not necessarily a good thing.
The first poop related incident was a text from my mother. Randomly one afternoon I receive this: "You would've been so impressed at the size of the poop that just came out of a 5 year old at work! Holy crap!" Thanks for thinking of me and immediately texting me after witnessing a bowel shaking event. We're such a close family. That was my first thought. My second thought was what the hell is a 5 year old doing at work? My mom works in a tax office during tax season. Odd...turns out it was a co-worker's kid. Somehow my mom had to be pseudo-mother for the kid while she dispensed of the last 7 days worth of meals. I can't wait to have a job where a 5 year old taking a huge shit is the highlight of my day.
Second poopy event: the dogs shitting all over the house. The Baum's were out of town all weekend and I was barely home, which left Chip and Libby the opportunity to poop EVERYWHERE. Awesome! I am really great at using a steam cleaner now. I have no idea how they poop that much. I am fairly positive the piles were larger than what should be physically possible according to how much they eat. I thought I was a generator of a large amount of poo. I've been beaten by two labs. Dammit.
I am not surprised that it only took me four entries to dedicate one almost entirely to poop. I am so predictable and mature.
Total change of subject. I have some news. I came back to Billings with the intent to gain college coaching experience and train with the team for tryouts. When I arrived in Billings, I had zero tryouts set up. But now I do! Whoop. I am trying out for the Buffalo Flash of Buffalo, New York March 5 - 7 and the Colorado Force of Fort Collins, Colorado March 20 - 21. If neither of those work out, I will pull something else out of my ass.
But Buffalo, NY? What?! Yeah, I know, random as hell. I was cruising around the internet back in December, checking out W-League teams and filling out some prospective player forms. I had actually completely forgotten that I had contacted the Flash. I did it because why the hell not? I've never been to New York or to the East that much. Why not go somewhere totally new? Somewhere I know no one? I need to break out of the comfort zone that is the West. I've spent my whole life out here and feel like the whole region is my home. I need to burst my happy little bubble. And the Flash also seem to have their shit together. I am all about an organized team after what happened last summer. And there is that.
I have another development that I will not be talking about until it is more concrete. More suspense!
The first poop related incident was a text from my mother. Randomly one afternoon I receive this: "You would've been so impressed at the size of the poop that just came out of a 5 year old at work! Holy crap!" Thanks for thinking of me and immediately texting me after witnessing a bowel shaking event. We're such a close family. That was my first thought. My second thought was what the hell is a 5 year old doing at work? My mom works in a tax office during tax season. Odd...turns out it was a co-worker's kid. Somehow my mom had to be pseudo-mother for the kid while she dispensed of the last 7 days worth of meals. I can't wait to have a job where a 5 year old taking a huge shit is the highlight of my day.
Second poopy event: the dogs shitting all over the house. The Baum's were out of town all weekend and I was barely home, which left Chip and Libby the opportunity to poop EVERYWHERE. Awesome! I am really great at using a steam cleaner now. I have no idea how they poop that much. I am fairly positive the piles were larger than what should be physically possible according to how much they eat. I thought I was a generator of a large amount of poo. I've been beaten by two labs. Dammit.
I am not surprised that it only took me four entries to dedicate one almost entirely to poop. I am so predictable and mature.
Total change of subject. I have some news. I came back to Billings with the intent to gain college coaching experience and train with the team for tryouts. When I arrived in Billings, I had zero tryouts set up. But now I do! Whoop. I am trying out for the Buffalo Flash of Buffalo, New York March 5 - 7 and the Colorado Force of Fort Collins, Colorado March 20 - 21. If neither of those work out, I will pull something else out of my ass.
But Buffalo, NY? What?! Yeah, I know, random as hell. I was cruising around the internet back in December, checking out W-League teams and filling out some prospective player forms. I had actually completely forgotten that I had contacted the Flash. I did it because why the hell not? I've never been to New York or to the East that much. Why not go somewhere totally new? Somewhere I know no one? I need to break out of the comfort zone that is the West. I've spent my whole life out here and feel like the whole region is my home. I need to burst my happy little bubble. And the Flash also seem to have their shit together. I am all about an organized team after what happened last summer. And there is that.
I have another development that I will not be talking about until it is more concrete. More suspense!
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