Getting Old

Two instances this past weekend proved to me that I am getting old. Actually, make that three. Dammit.

First, I went skiing. Which is typically something that makes me feel pretty great about myself and the world in general. I've been skiing since I was 4 and I can competently get down black diamonds and cruise through the trees without any fatal crashes. I cannot, however, ski with ease through a terrain park. And the group of friends I went with Saturday are all quality terrain park goers. So I spent more time on my ass attempting rails, boxes and 25 foot jumps than I have since I learned to walk. That's right, I probably fell less actually learning to ski. The highlight of the day was when I fell so hard on my tailbone I peed my pants. I'm pretty sure only older people and pregnant women randomly pee themselves during activity. And don't feel bad about laughing; I laughed after I regained feeling in my ass region and was sure both of my hips weren't dislocated. And don't worry about me having to deal with frozen ski pants, it was the last run of the day. Perfect timing.

I did conquer the baby beginner box in the baby beginner park. I felt even more awesome about this when I saw a 7 year old do the exact same thing, only without hesitation and minus the screams of accomplishment afterward. I also completed a grab (when no one was watching, figures) and did not die after launching myself repeatedly off a 25 foot jump. Wonderful!

Second instance of feeling old: After returning from the bars one night, I came home and immediately checked my laundry. That's right, before I even considered dealing with drunken munchies or falling asleep under the pool table, I retrieved my clothes from the dryer. I did not fold them. So that makes it more ok...right?

And third and final instance. I was over at Don's house for dinner and one of the first things that came out of my mouth was "Did you get new cabinets? They look really great." SON OF BITCH. Did I really just fucking say that? Yeah, yeah I did. Immediately upon releasing those words from my mouth, I felt extremely middle aged and like I was at a dinner party, complete with a two hour discussion about home remodeling. Barf.

I have important news. But right now I have to get ready for work. Suspense!

Billings, Montaner

It has been somewhat of an explosion since I have arrived in Billings. This is normal; if I was reporting that things had been quiet and boring, something would be wrong. I enjoy living my life like a frantic squirrel with a rapid heartbeat and constant paranoia. Sort of.

Anyway, after less than 24 hours in Billings, I had found a job and a place to live. What?! Yeah, that's right. I had no reason to panic when I was packing (well, more like cramming) my car to leave with no idea if I would have either when I got here. Story of my life. Things are much more exciting when you jump into shit with less than half of a plan. I got my job back at the YMCA, herding children around after school. I'll only be able to do that until outdoor season starts with MSUB, then I will have to find a way to get hours in the morning. Maybe I will get certified as a lifeguard and be that nagging bitch on the lifeguard tower, yelling "WALK, DAMMIT!" at all the overeager kids. We'll see what happens. I drove the mini white bus to pick up kids the other day. I only curb checked twice, almost took out a Ford Explorer with the ridiculously massive side view mirrors and cut someone off in the intersection while taking a left. No deaths was an accomplishment.

As for the living situation, I am staying in the Baum's basement. Steve, his daughter Katie and their two dogs were kind enough to let me occupy 'The Dungeon' for the four months I am here. Which is really saving my ass, because now I can focus on what I really came back for: volunteer assistant coaching at MSUB. The word 'volunteer' implies I'm not really getting paid, which is correct. According to the book Stuff White People Like, unpaid internships is the way to appear to be a better person than everyone else. And an unpaid internship is basically what coaching will be. Yes! I love feeling better than everyone else because I can barely afford to feed myself and all my socks have holes. I plan on judging all you assholes who work for money. Ha! How ridiculous!

And that is about all for now. Things are just getting started.

Who the hell blogs?

Well, apparently everyone, including me. This is a solo project, I am selfishly keeping this thing focused on me. ME! None of that 'Williamson Family Living, Laughing and Loving Blog!'. I don't even have a pet to include. Just a lot of old shoes that I can't bring myself to get rid of and enough outdoor gear to equip a Mormon family. And my thoughts and opinions, which there are also enough of those to fulfill the minds of a group much larger than myself. I am more than willing to share the constant racket that is going on inside of my mind. Though I am going to attempt to stay focused on the insanity that can be my life and what I plan on doing with it.

Tomorrow I leave for Billings, MT. This is something I said I would never do. Ever. When I left the day after graduation in May, I pretty much slammed the door on the city while yelling 'It was fun, it was real, but it wasn't real fun! Go play in the freeway with a blindfold on!' Actually, my experience there was great, I was just more than ready to move on. And I tried. But I found that soccer just has too much of a hold over me to really move on. So I am going back to volunteer assistant coach at MSUB, work at the YMCA, coach a little club, and train with the team to prepare for tryouts. Hopefully. And that is the short story of my life at the moment.

More later.