Getting Old

Two instances this past weekend proved to me that I am getting old. Actually, make that three. Dammit.

First, I went skiing. Which is typically something that makes me feel pretty great about myself and the world in general. I've been skiing since I was 4 and I can competently get down black diamonds and cruise through the trees without any fatal crashes. I cannot, however, ski with ease through a terrain park. And the group of friends I went with Saturday are all quality terrain park goers. So I spent more time on my ass attempting rails, boxes and 25 foot jumps than I have since I learned to walk. That's right, I probably fell less actually learning to ski. The highlight of the day was when I fell so hard on my tailbone I peed my pants. I'm pretty sure only older people and pregnant women randomly pee themselves during activity. And don't feel bad about laughing; I laughed after I regained feeling in my ass region and was sure both of my hips weren't dislocated. And don't worry about me having to deal with frozen ski pants, it was the last run of the day. Perfect timing.

I did conquer the baby beginner box in the baby beginner park. I felt even more awesome about this when I saw a 7 year old do the exact same thing, only without hesitation and minus the screams of accomplishment afterward. I also completed a grab (when no one was watching, figures) and did not die after launching myself repeatedly off a 25 foot jump. Wonderful!

Second instance of feeling old: After returning from the bars one night, I came home and immediately checked my laundry. That's right, before I even considered dealing with drunken munchies or falling asleep under the pool table, I retrieved my clothes from the dryer. I did not fold them. So that makes it more ok...right?

And third and final instance. I was over at Don's house for dinner and one of the first things that came out of my mouth was "Did you get new cabinets? They look really great." SON OF BITCH. Did I really just fucking say that? Yeah, yeah I did. Immediately upon releasing those words from my mouth, I felt extremely middle aged and like I was at a dinner party, complete with a two hour discussion about home remodeling. Barf.

I have important news. But right now I have to get ready for work. Suspense!