That Moment When You Realize 'Oh yes, I DID spent the last two years of my life in Jamaica'

So. I'm back in America. I am not sure if I have really digested this or not, as most of the time I feel like I am just coming back from amnesia or regaining my mental and physical capacities after a coma. But there are instances in which I am reminded that yes, I did spend the last two years of my life living in Jamaica. Like a slap in the face with a wet sock, I am jolted back to that tiny, hot little island for a moment. Here are a few of those instances that have happened in the past few weeks:

1) When a colleague at the university told me to definitely not work on the Fourth of July, I blankly started at him at first. The fourth? Is that supposed to hold some sort of significance to me? Ohhhhhhh, right, America's birthday. I was ready to not work that day whether or not it was actually a holiday, so thanks for the head's up.

2) Still not entirely conscious of the fact there was a holiday the next day, I heard fireworks for the first time in three years on the night of the third and my first reaction was 'Shit, gunshots!' and to get away from the windows. Thanks Jamaica, I seem to have some weird Peace Corps form of PTSD where I assume the worst is happening at all times.

3) Driving to see my brother in Bend on that same holiday weekend, I was driving along the Columbia River and saw little white buoys in the water. First thought was 'Oh, look, there's people out spearfishing in the river!'. Or maybe huge barges need a little guidance as to where the water is too shallow for their massive hulls. Spearfishing in the Columbia would be a shit show, and probably fairly unproductive. Don't worry, I figured this one out quickly.

4) The selection of sponges at WinCo was just too much for me. What the hell is the difference between ten different brands of sponges? Different shapes, colors and sizes? Some also can double as pets? Emergency snack food? I don't understand.

5) As I was leaving a store today, an employee happily said 'Have a good day, Miss!', which totally threw me off guard because a) he correctly identified my sex so quickly and b) he was so polite and excited. I stared like some stranger just rattled off my SS number, address, date of birth and first pet's name. By the way, not once has anyone asked me if I am a man or a woman, or called me sir, during the month I have been back. That was a lovely almost daily occurrence in Jamaica that I don't miss one bit.

6) I was riding my bike down a path and ahead in the middle of the asphalt was a little chunk of tumbleweed that looked like it had legs. My initial reaction was 'Crab!'. Obviously a crab made its way up to northern Idaho to come attack my pedaling feet. I still avoided it like it was a live pinching machine.

7) For the first two weeks or so, I would get stressed out if I had anything productive to do after 7pm, as that's when it gets dark in Jamaica and you spend your evenings plowing through Mad Men. Thankfully, this weird anxiety has worn off already.

I know there's more, but for now this is all I can think of. Be happy I even wrote a blog post. It's been over a year.